On Justice

by Paul Nachbar

After the verdict in the Zimmerman case there have been or so I'm told waves of protest in my area and in Manhattan, an hour away from here by
train. Since I have not been well and do not wish to be any sort of martyr
to any cause, I slept the whole day. Why should I stick my head out and be
an advocate for Zimmerman or Trayvon Martin the deceased? Why should I talk about or theorize about or hope for what I would regard as justice,
when people get their heads blown off for less? Or squashed and trampled
by some organized or disorganized, high status or low status, and above
all else opinionated mob, legal or not, legitimate or not, propertied or not,
politically correct or not.historically correct or not

I am a minority in my town, a Jewish man who does explicitly NOT
believe in the local religions and is often very moody or so they tell me
or even angry? I am not to quote some not absolutely objective observers
of my behavior several years ago 'playing the Jewish card": a remark made
by a Canadian man with probably a one in a million IQ who came from social circumstances rougher than mine and thought I looked down on him
No if i am playing cards at all am playing the Human Card..

It is not easy being of a demographic minority where one is deemed the odd man out or an eccentric or worse. It is not easy being of a demographic majority so called Despite some rumors of science and progress and
civilization and charity and mercy that I have picked up on. not to speak of the positive perhaps sides of what most here call faith, i have had a rough time. If this were a planet filled with Paul Stuart Nachbar Jrs and Pauline
Stuart Nachbar Jrs it would be another matter. Everybody would be perceived to be "like" me not 'different". But it is not. If you look this up
On google. you will see I am the only Paul Stuart Nachbar in the world.
Ah so what? Okay the last name, though I am jewish means neighbor.
We are all neighbors on this planet all 7.4 billion of us. and all need to
get along without tearing each other to pieces

.I cannot make a judicial ruling here, laciking that authority. I cannot make a legislative action, becuase I lack such authority too. Nor can I make an executive decision of any kind, as I also lack a popular mandate for such
I can appeal though, as somebody whom society pushed around and
badgered and bothered and tormented until he, contrary to his real
and original born nature, became a hater, not a lover, appeal to everybody
s human side black and white rich and poor male and female Jewish and gentile, atheist and theist straight and gay and everything in between.
Of course too I do not have the legal authority of a medical doctor or a licensed mental health professional. I am as the author of some not very well recieved books of poems, really in a vulnerable low status unprotected position.

People read about a war or a battle or an election or a competion or a contest or a divorce or a disaster or a revolution or a political reaction or a ball game to see who lost and who won. They will express their so called Opinions here or Points of View based on who and what they identify with
most among the fairly wide set of all human possibilities, not necessarily
what is Real or True or Objective or best for everybody.And maybe I can never change this in the smallest way or maybe seeking to change it is what is doing me in.

I am a neighbor of yours. I am innocent. I am in pain. I express myself
well but nobody has cared,. They cared about their own ideas, their own perceptions, their own wants and needs and their own belief systems of one kind or another far more than my agony. I am not and have never been self destructive, though I assented to that "necessary" lie to protect my not absolutely innocent family this not absolutely innocent agency, The Mental Health Association of Nassau County Long Island and my not always innocent treatment providers and friends. As somebody who really minus any so called real deviance or eccentricity, just does not fit in with the majority views. their blackness and their whiteness, brownnness, pinkness
And purplesness or greenness all of you fine folks, liberals, conservatives,
Radicals and even the indifferetn have pretty much proven to be the
Aggessors in my life..including but not limited to my family.

I am going to attempt not to hate you all. By many moral codes that
are active in this world, used in the present and are not a part of the so called past, which some of your psychological propagandists claim I 'dwell on excessively" you in part or all deserve the worst from me, even if all licensed judges would disapprove.Ha what is the Law? In my childhood
Days when many states in the US made intermarriage an black voting
Illegal, among many other things, the Ku Klux Klan and the conservatives
Of those days had every politician in their pockets. DO they get justice
When they liberate things? Nah Kind of the reverse. In one if you are
Black you aree always on the bottom and if you are white you are always On top. In the other Black should Always be on top and white perhaps on the Bottom or in iffy and nervous and anxious pairings

The scientist in me says this is retarded. The humanist wants to write big thick books of new rules The poet in me or artist wants to jump out the
Windows. because theyare all jealous of our superior morality and suiperior sexuality and sensitivity anyway..not to speak of all those IQ point
And Eq points THEY lack.

At their worst, which is far more often than you think, the human race acts like bunch of murderous multicolored hamsters with or without
Guns, knives, vials of poison, killing machines, tasers or the various
Not very well defined weapons possessed by the whole slew of licensed
Authorities in society from truant officers and kindergaden teachers to
Deans of Harvard Graduate School of arts and Sciences to the Presidenst
And way 'over there' Kings, Queens, Princes, other types of leaders

So with Great Love, not Tough Love I profoundly wish all you 7.4 billion
Agitated and politicized and murderous and vengeful and certainly almost
Always 'correct' souls woudl just please shut up, stop your opining
About legal cases you do not understand, stop making laws that are
Asinine, not to speak of all that 'advice' and 'suggestions' you give me
Stop torturing each other and stop lying about this , stop killing in one
Way or another, even yourselves, stop all the fucking politics and work
And protest or caving in and just relax.. and let ME be.