HIM

by Samuel Harris


What was it about him?
His smile? His voice? His intelligence?
His touch? His heart?
You beheld beauty such that you had never seen.
And in came the hope that at last you had found the last good man.
With this hope you extended yourself, drew him near
And together you began a journey that you hoped would be unending.
He stood by you, and you stood by him.
The sacrifice you gave, you were sure
Would be evidence enough of your unconditional love.

How dare him? Maybe I’m at fault.
Let us build together –
Let me show you how we can work.
Time passed and we’re growing stronger, you thought
And you were building for the both of you
But with each building block, somehow he knocked it down.
He had set his eyes around the corner
And began drifting around the block.
What you thought you fell in love with
Was nothing more than a fleeting moment for him –
A list on which he’s putting checkmarks.

So you took those same building blocks
And with a wounded heart and a broken spirit, built a wall
One which could tower over the others,
One which could shelter you from the storm –
A pleading, solidification of what once was
And the marking of a new chapter.
“I will not forgive him” – “Never again,” you said.

But oh, don’t you see beloved, that that very wall you built
Is the very same that entraps you in yesterday.
And as you’re trying to move forward
You can’t see beyond your own hurt, shame, anger and guilt –
Beyond the wall. When you realize that you’re holding on to yesterday –
A dead thing – and when you truly want to move forward
Into tomorrow but can’t, finding yourself in the repeat of the before
Running across the same no good men
Understand that you will be unable to break free
Until you take down that wall, brick by brick.

To heal, to grow, you must remove each brick
And accept that what’s done is done.
With each brick you take down, it’s about forgiveness,
And though it hurts, and though it takes time,
You will realize in time,
That you can finally see the richness around you,
And all the good men that you’d shut out
Were all along trying to pull you over that wall.